Wednesday, October 6, 2010

...unsettled's (almost) weeks since i first felt unsettled like this.
Briefly, i used to love doing this one particular thing. I loved it when i first did it, and actually, i've loved it till few weeks ago. I can't state what it is, but it refers to something i started years ago. It's been my dream to be part of it, and i'm thankful that i've got into it. However, (not the first time, actually), i feel like being "manipulated". It should be me who do everything, like no one else can.  That's the problem. My other friends can do it as well, but they just "throw" the responsibility to me.

I'm thankful that i've been given creativity, and i've done things with that talent. Things that i myself am oftenly surprised by the result. But... right now, when i've to put my thought into my Final Paper, no one seems to care; they keep pushed me to do their stuffs, things that they can do themselves. I love helping, when i have time - and i have none for now. I really want to use my time effectively for my school stuff, and the rest for a little breathing time. I'm no good when being forced... -,-

Today, that feeling has grown even stronger. I kept asking myself what to do. Ahh... i really wished to move away, far far away from where i am. Or, should i just quit?

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